Battered Me

The only thing I remember about the n-1 parents teacher meet I have attended with my parents is my  teacher uttering something about me being impeccably cute, overly meek and fairly studious

(The cute part was never stated explicitly but here is an illustration to support it ...) 

The nth was something about me being doomed to fail in my boards and haunt the school for eternity

What you should get from above (besides that i am cute) is that such a kid would never ever go under cane.

I mean come on .... whose heart won't melt before raising hand/cane/stick/trowel (khurpi)/lower limb on such an adorable child

So when I tell I tell you that I have gone under each of the above (yup..including trowel), It brings back the haunting memory of barbaric doctrine of corporal punishment followed in my school. 

Funny thing is that in the one involving trowel I voluntary went to P.E teacher to accept my punishment  when all other friends traitors ran away. And that guy made me a murga  and hit my bum with a trowel. The only consolation was that it being the flat part.

Any way, all said and done, I wrote the blog just to remind my school that ...

Revenge will be taken \m/  :-/

(On second thoughts, It so happens that lot of my dear friends are in Delhi. Will outsource to them)

Google Touch: For those moments when you can't find the words

This is about our web going beyond social a.k.a personal (for all practical purposes , intruding our private sphere). I don't advocate it but its going to happen nevertheless, so I thought let me already start putting in some ideas

There has been this feature, I have always wanted Google to add to its portfolio. This is for those times when we really want  to say something to some one ( can be as difficult as 'sorry'  or as simple as 'hi')  but we simply run out of words  when we start on it.

Logic is excruciatingly simple. Lets take a simple Alice-Bob example. Track if Alice is trying to attempt too many conversation with Bob. But every single time she either discards the message, close the chat window, or the mail goes in draft.
If the above is true,  just drop a message to Bob saying that that Alice really wants to talk to you.

This simple gesture I believe has the  potential clear many many misunderstandings, that simply wouldn't be if one can push oneself and speak out.

*those who are thinking about this being invasion on our privacy give me  break, this is Google i am talking about

Just like Dad

Having counselled my parents all along my life that 'Comparing your kid's grade with * Uncle's kid will do no good to your already largely no-good child', the series of impulsive acts I did today in a similar scenario have put me to shame.

No I don't have a child (yet). But there is this kid whose education I am sponsoring under an Initiative taken by few of my friends ( under  Educate To Empower ). Today was the the day they published the grades of the first term exam of these kids. So this is in brief what happened after ( within a span of 100 seconds) once I saw his grades, and for which I feel like I have became just like my Dad 

00 second :: " 75.9 % ..... hmmm... not bad , Could have done better "

10 second :: " What would be this guy's position in the class? "

30 second:: " 10th in  class of 20. How the hell is he going to get into IIT with these standards !!! "

40 second::  Scan through the grade list for grades of two other kids whom  my  buddy Ujj is sponsoring

70 second:: " So this Ujj's kid have got 82 %. :( ... This kid have no future ".

80 - 90 second ::   Depressed, looking for some silver lining

90 second::     "Hell ... he is lagging behind only in desi languages ... the guy is good in  rozi roti subjects (Math/English) :) ...

Also to those who cannot read between the lines is the fact that I was able to navigate through all these pages within a matter of 40 seconds. Yeah we have Broadband at home :-/

My Bucket list

Imprudent being I am, I guess it would do no harm to ponder on things I want to do before I die. ( Lets see ,  I should be able to muster at-least 5)  ...

1.) ......

2.) ......

3.) .....

4.) ......

5.) ......

...................

DAMN !

(The way I see it , its not full empty. Its 0% full ......)

Hampi, Vijayanagara and Kishkindha

With mind being saturated by natural beauty after my trip to Pune and of which (the nature's beauty I mean)  I could have taken no more (atleast for another couple of months I guess), I was pretty excited when I got a call from my friend for a trip to Hampi.

So we took a trip to the city which not only hosts the ruins of the capital city of Vijayanagara Empire, but also have roots for many mythological stories I have came across my life. 

Birth Place of Hanumana

Forgot what it is..

Walk through the granary market

___Temple. This place tells the entire Ramayana in three parikrama around temple, in the form  of carvings done in three parallel rows (see on walls of RHS structure) , starting from bottom.

Short glimpse in to the vastness of the kingdom

Iconic Stone chariot at Vittala temple 

Sculptor's master piece at Vittala. Depending on how you see it, this can be a  shiva-linga, monkey nursing her baby, monkey carrying his baby, Hanumana carrying sanjevani mountain or frog

The ones who traveled 

Searching Soulmate .. or Look-Alikes.....

So there is this FRIEND of mine who has always been fascinated by the whole process of arranged marriages. In-fact one of the favorite hobby of his school-days was to grab the Sunday paper, search for matrimony column, and eat it  .

Now this FRIEND of mine has reached the age where if you haven't found the soul mate for your self ( or may be you have found one /many  but the feelings are not exactly reciprocated :-/  ) the great Indian arranged marriage process has to start rolling.

So much to the delight  of this FRIEND of mine, his  parents created an profile for him at 'bharatmatrimony.com' couple of days back. And there was a sudden shift of browsing hours from facebook to bm.

Now what caught his fascination were not the profiles of girls/prospective brides, but a peculiar feature offered by the website. Below the every picture of the girl/boy you could find a button "Find-Look Alikes".


 I mean seriously...... Thats how you are supposed to find your girl !!!  If you don't quite fit the bill of some one you like,  you will simply marry someone who just looks like her. Or even take that as one of the criteria.  REALLY.. This is one of the worst example  I (My Friend I mean) have seen of us being so obsessed with beauty being skin-deep (Am stereotyping...) ..Its like if Hrithik Roshan's fanclub is full, you join Harman Baweja's (no offence)..

Of course there were other  technical aspects this FRIEND of mine thought about. Having done his research-internship and BTech project in Image processing he was wondering what technology the genius behind this would have applied. Much to his satisfaction when he tried the feature (Only because of technical curiosity) he didn't found the results quite or in any-ways nearby accurate :) .

Goan-Krishna-Soldier

The girl was crying madly. Apparently her husband has died in some war. She held on to me, cried, wept and asked me again where her husband was . I stood there, my head hung, trying hard to suppress my smile but wasn't quite successful. She looked at me in disgust and moved on; crying in front of another guy standing next to me. 

That was class fourth. I was playing the part of an Indian soldier and the girl was a war-widow. What exactly was my part? To march past the stage on to the tunes of Vande Mataram and standing next to a bawling woman head down. 40-50 mute seconds in total.

My college buddies might not find me quite the Keanu Reeves material, I did had occasional skirmishes with the stage spread out across my school-days. Now that I have grown old, I thought it would be a good idea to jot down those rare moments of my life. Moments, from which If I would have taken cues and pushed my luck in theatre\Hollywood\Tollywood, I very well might have been the 'Slum-Dog ' now.

But first things first and my  humble pranam to Lord Ganesha and Goddess Lakshmi. Why ?  Because thats how my long uneventful tryst with dais started. I was around 4-5 years old, but the images are still crystal clear. My buddy & I dressed as Gods were sitting in center with little girls dancing around us. And not that it is important, but of Lord Ganesha and Mata lakshmi, I wasn't Ganesha!

 Perhaps it was the aura surrounding me. I played little Krishna once during Janamastmi. I remember this because I had punched the guy playing Kansa so hard during the battle-finale, that I, Lord Krishna himself too had to hear a mouthful from his mom after the play. 

Was picked up once during Jagran to be dressed as Lord Shiva and carried around on a human bull . Thanks to generous devotees that was the fastest 200 bucks I have ever made. 

But the one that I cherish most would be the only dance I have ever performed. And for the only dance, it sure had every thing a 10 year could wish of. The dress was English , music was Goan, steps were part Salsa. We looked cute and our dance partners lovely (atleast that's what mom told me). And the dais was - Delhi's Talkatora stadium.  I would have love to post the picture but unfortunately my parents were too mesmerized to click any. Any case I would leave you with this.