So It Begins

Finally its time for me to write my first blog. As it generally happens with me, this doesn't happen to a self motivated decision for me . Self motivation comes little if any to me. It just happened that two of my defining characteristics coupled while surfing through other mortals blog today , giving birth to this desire strong enough to publish my first blog.
What to write about in my first blog was never a problem . Being a completely egocentric person, the first blog was ought to be about myself. It was just the external motivation that was missing. That too came in strange sort of way. Visited a girl's blog space today. It was not the first time though i was doing this. What was different this time was the quality of the current blog posted . Far better than what, when she had started posting, (and when i had dismissed this whole idea of blogging as a rat race). The chauvinistic man growled within me in despair, and I decided that it is just about the time for me to join the race. It is not that i am allergic to the so called rat race. It is just that i have this tendency to join the race a bit late. My bloated ego just doesn't allow me to be a part of it. And when it finally gives in, I become a rat chugging behind a swarm of them, with no hope whatsoever of winning race.
This unfortunately has been the reality for the most part of my life, dragging me down, eating me away, almost like a disease....Its kind of funny when you both the cause and cure of the disease and still don't do anything to cure it. But then by going this way most of the time in life, it is the case. And life certainly is not funny.
Probably what keeps us from removing the disease from our body is not always our inertia towards action. It is just that sometimes they become so much a part of our life that parting away with them will be like parting away with one of our body parts. And then there is this sweet and intoxicating smell of failure. Believe me , you need a small dose of this regularly to keep you stimulated. Fortunately for me the stock never runs out.